Now, I am not saying a break is necessarily for everyone. Some people continue on through it and do just well in the world. I, however, wasn’t. I didn’t know what to do, and I was forced into my college, my major, my life. I was absolutely miserable. I couldn’t get myself to leave my bed, I couldn’t get myself to not think of how desperately I needed to get motivation. I was stuck. So after I finished the semester, I decided to take a year off. Now, having a mother who pushed me to do my best in school, it was a little difficult for me to tell her. Most of my friends were very accepting or understood that it was what I needed. Some of them didn’t understand (most were told it wasn’t an option, so I can see why they wouldn’t). Let me tell you, my mother didn’t talk to me for few days when I told her. My mother, who would text me EVERY SINGLE DAY to ask me how I was, was not texting me. She finally accepted that it was what I needed to do, and let me take my break (mostly because I put a lot of emphasis on going back).
I wish I could say that during this time I traveled, I read all the books to read, I saw all the sights to see, I went to all the shows and events in my city. I wish I could say that. But I didn’t. I am glad I didn’t. I mean, who would want to go back to school after a year of that?
For a year, I was a waitress. Now, don’t get me wrong. I made fairly decent money doing this, and some people would rather serve than go for the career they studied for because they make more money that way. I am not putting down serving in any way. However, this is definitely not where I want to see myself in the next 10 years. Serving really opened my eyes, though. I could really see that I wanted to work with people. However, not in the food industry.
For a year I have been yelled at, snipped at, walked out on, talked about behind my back, harassed, treated like nothing, looked down on; not just by guests. My work has put me through a lot. But overall, my job has made me feel that I have no self-worth when I am there; that I am a pointless person (please don’t be offended if you are in the service industry, this is my personal feeling/path). That’s when I realized I wanted my place of work to actually mean something to me. For my work to actually make me feel like I am doing good in the world. To feel like I did something for someone.
Now, I am still debating on what exactly I want to do, but I have it down to two choice for me: medical interpretation, or nursing. I do know I need to go back to school is for sure. I need to go back to where I have a goal, and my goal is going to make me feel I have my life worth it. That way I have my self-worth back.
Taking a year off has given me so much motivation, I feel I could finish school with flying colors (course, I know that’s not the most realistic knowing I am not the best at everything). I can’t wait to working at my goal, meeting people with the same motivation, and finding a way to go for my dreams.